Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus Part #28 - Episode XXVII: It's Like I Never Left...

Part 28: Episode XXVII: It's Like I Never Left...

Episode XXVII: It's Like I Never Left...

Welcome back, folks. I hope the wait wasn't too bad. Your reward for your patience is a Stage which is 100% cutscenes and talking to NPCs.

In case the entire stage devoted to the WRO Headquarters getting its shit wrecked wasn't enough, here's a quick couple of establishing shots to add emphasis to events that occurred two minutes ago in gameplay time.

Oh, and of course Reeve survived an RPG to the face. You are best off assuming if the character in question is not a villain or WRO member, they will not die in this game. No matter how ridiculous the odds.

"My goatee... It... It just won't fully grow in... It'll all patchy... Why...? What am I doing wrong?"

"Reeve, I'm pushing sixty and I've seen women with more facial hair than I've ever grown. You're asking the wrong person."

I wish I could have dicked around in my office with a robot and have claimed to be a 'Nam vet. Or hell, get away with just assembling a small band of misfits to fight a couple of guys and claim it was a fucking war.

"Reeve. You're not thinking of giving up? Not that you've contributed much aside from sending countless blonde guys to their deaths. But, we need someone to carry the narrative and you're the best we've got at the moment."

"Vincent..."

"..."

"That is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard."

"No really... I err... I get out more often. I lived in a basement for 30 years beforehand."

"You only get out more when people tell you to. I saw the intro. You were sulking in your apartment beforehand. Face it, Vincent. Unless mass murder is a character development, I've seen townspeople in Midgar with more changes than you."

"I don't have to stand here and take this."

The scene abruptly ends. Let's see what's happening elsewhere...

Looks like Reeve was nice enough to have a 'we can't be bothered to model a smashed arm' stasis capsule shipped in. Oh, what? I didn't mention that Shalua lived through that last scene? Well, she 'lived' through that last scene in the sense that they didn't want to commit to killing her off just yet.

Oh yeah, Yuffie made it just fine from the burning wreckage, massive head trauma, and military siege. In fact, the entire laboratory came out unscathed from an attack where Deepground blew the lobby into rubble just because they could.

"She suffered too much trauma to her head. Unless there's some kind of miracle, she's not..."

"But...there's not a scratch on her..."

"She was missing an eye and had half of her organs replaced and she didn't have a scratch from that either."

"Good point."

"..."

"I'm sorry."

"No. I didn't mean to..."

"You didn't let me finish. I meant I'm sorry I cannot save people from stupidity. Bullets don't prevent stupidity. They don't save people from stupidity. They only stop it."

Shelke wanders in...

Well, at least one person came away with the correct notion from that last big scene.

Dirge of Cerberus' writers apparently saw the error of their ways by converting Yuffie into a more asian looking Rikku from Final Fantasy X. So, for this solitary scene, they have decided she's bipolar as fuck. As such, she marches over.

And slaps the taste out of Shelke's mouth.

"You don't know what...!"

"Yuffie, calm down. You have been in the story for half a hour. You didn't even know her."

"That doesn't mean I can't slap people and cry about it.!"

"Why would she do something so...? So...out of character? The writing in this game is highly inconsistent. This is coming from someone who's only emotive state is bored and monotone."

Yuffie proceeds to run off crying. She will never again mention any of this or Shalua. She will also be back to being annoyingly bubbly and hyper in the very next scene she is in.

"It was you, Shelke. You were her reason to live."

"So? I don't understand how someone could give her own life for that of another. Especially, in a situation which in no way warranted a sacrifice of that nature."

"..."

"I can't answer for your sister. So, I'm just going to make up something to make myself sound good."

"And maybe that's what makes us human."

"She was a cyborg. You are an immortal avatar of some manner of ancient power born from the planet. I am eternally nine. I find this musing on the nature of being human to be an insufficient answer, at best. Skirting the issue, at worst."

"Perhaps. Although, it seems there are a lot of people around me who don't need a reason to risk their lives for that of another. The WRO soldiers, for instance. They are willing to throw away their lives for the sake of protecting explosive barrels and empty corridors."